Twelve.

I don't know why it bothers me so much. And really it shouldn't. I know he likes me, and I know she's my best friend. But still... it drives me nuts to know they are talking when I'm not around. I know it would drive her nuts if I was talking to her "love" while she wasn't around. So why is that she can do it to me? AND she can tell him things that she apparently can't tell me? I'm her BEST friend, she's supposed to be able to tell me everything. It's just so dumb. Who knows what they're talking about. I think that's what bugs me the most. I don't know what they're talking about. Maybe I'm just being a jealous idiot, but it's how I feel. I have a right to feel this way... Don't I? I mean he is my "love" interest at the moment. I'm the one who wants to be with him. So why does my best friend have to continuously talk to him? It bugs me. Bugs me a lot. I know I should just tell them that it bugs me, but I can't seem to do that. Why? I have no flippin idea. I think I'm afraid one or both of them will judge me for being this way. Well at least I'm scared he will. And she, well I know exactly what she'll say "O Jenn we're not talking about anything important, I'm just trying to convince him to go out with you." I don't want someone to convince him to go out with me, I want him to want to go out with me all on his own. Like goodness. I don't go trying to convince her "love" interest to go out with her. I let her deal with that. Her job as my best friend is to sit there and listen to me talk about him, and when the time comes either be really happy because he asked me out, or be really sad because he doesn't want to be with me. THAT'S what she's supposed to do. But she doesn't. She doesn't let me talk about him because she's too wrapped up in her own little love thing right now. So I don't get my chance to talk about him, so I come here to this website, to vent... to NO ONE, when it should be my best friend I'm venting to. This seriously sucks. I just wish they would stop having these little conversations. Really, it would be friggen fantastic.