Seventeen.

I've had enough of everyone's bullshit. Everyone thinks they know everything about my life, but really no one knows anything. No one knows what goes through my head day after day night after night. It's just ridiculous. They think I don't know what gets said behind my back. I'm not an effing idiot. I know. I know that no one has faith in me anymore. I know that no one believes I can do certain things, and it's effing stupid. I'm so tired of it. Some days I think it would all be easier if I could just... but that can't happen. I just want everything to be okay and to work out. I just want to be able to be happy. Sure I act happy, but 95% of that is a complete and utter lie! I do it so that no one will know that I'm really not okay. Nothing's okay. I wonder if it's ever going to be okay. I don't even want to be happy, I just want to be okay. I know there are people who care and who want me to be happy, but somedays I wonder if even those people really care. I don't even know anymore. I just want to drown my sorrows in a bottle of Vodka. But is that going to solve anything? No of course not. I have to keep my head held high and fake it till I make it. At least that's what they tell me.