Eighteen.

I feel very, alone. I know I have friends, I know I have best friends. But...

She has her.
She has him.
He's leaving.
He's got her.
She's not even here.

What do I have? Sure I've got a guy who lives 2 hours from here who cares about me and supports me. But, he's not my everything. I adore him, I may even love him somewhere deep down inside. When it comes down to it though he's not all I need. I need you, and you're leaving me soon. I need you both but you both have each other. I need you, but you have him, he's your everything. You, have her which is more important to you then anything else. You're not even here so I can't go to you whenever wherever. Don't get me wrong, I like my life. It's a good life for the most part. I have a loving family, a devoted and caring guy, good friends who love me just the way I am. Yet, I still feel very empty inside. I feel like I'm not complete and I don't know what will complete me. Maybe I'm just being a big emotional sack of shit. This is just how I feel right now. I don't know when, or if this will ever change, but for now this is how I feel. And I miss him, a lot. Being away from him for so long kills me. It hurts so bad. Should I go there? Should I be there? Should I leave my life here and be with him? Is it worth it? I don't know where to go or what to do at this point and time. For now, I just need to do what I'm doing and try to be happy. Right?